Such Fallow Fellows

Yesterday I sat in a Bethnal Green park, people watching and reading - Letty Russell's 'Just Hospitality', published posthumously following the author's death in 2007. I appreciated the reflection on 'safe space'. We could do worse than shape and savour such space, then give it away extravagantly. Russell also observed that hospitality has fallen into disuse in society and in our churches (p.19). How much more of authentic Christianity, I wondered, has atrophied and withered, or (to change metaphor) is parked in some forgotten historical siding: Methodist Class meetings, every member ministry, the presidency of the whole people of God at the Eucharist and pacifism to name a few. Alongside of the ground we cultivate - our ordered and well administered plantation - is the fallow ground of riot and risk, full of overgrown paths we have long abandoned or that we never had the courage to follow to their destinations. The way of hospitality is always entails a creative relationship between safety and risk - each host makes a gift of safe space and imperils that space in the vulnerability of welcome; every stranger brings the promise of blessing and a potential for danger. Often though we are risk averse, peering timidly over our fences at what might have been: such fallow fellows!

Lights, Camera ... Fiction?

I hate having my picture taken. Mum keeps a few in her bottom drawer, like incriminating evidence. Otherwise, it's just my digital experiments or a scary photo taking during a very unhappy time in Jersey where a journalist lined me up against a wall and made me take my glasses off. 'Any last requests', I was thinking. A more recent image shows me standing on the Promenade at Rhos-on-Sea. I look a little older but I like it better. Photos can airbrushed to flatter or deceive but it seemed to me that the Welsh picture was honest in a way that I hadn't expected. It was a contented photo, which said a good deal about how I was feeling. The Jersey scene was revealing too, though not in a way I care to remember.

There’s a good deal in Scripture about how we appear on the outside and what we are on the inside. Samuel is given the unenviable task of recruiting a king (1 Sam 16) but not before God reminds him of the job description. Personal qualities are essential. Brad Pitt lookalike not required. Jesus has some scathing words for religious types with shiny faces like whitewashed tombs and minds that rattle like bones (Matt 23:27). God has simple expectations – reality and appearances should match. The word for this has an old fashioned ring to it these days – ‘integrity’, which comes from the same root as ‘integrate’ and carries much the same meaning. Christians should be integrated people; our inner and outer lives in balance.

Of course, the point of doctoring photos to remove the wrinkles is to avoid people seeing us as we really are. Hypocrisy wouldn’t be tempting if we weren’t convinced there was an advantage to making others think we’re wiser, richer, sexier, holier, more beautiful or less ordinary. But, perhaps we should learn something from our own photographs. They give away more than we realize. We can focus on our ‘best points’ but somehow something in an expression or the way light and shadow falls across a face will tell the real story. ‘Keeping up appearances’ may make a good sitcom but it’s a rotten way to live a life.

Depression and Creativity

I haven't been blogging for weeks but this short post took me more than an hour. Sometimes I am depressed. There's still a stigma around the subject which is one reason why I don't talk about it a great deal. If I'm honest though, the main reason I say so little when I'm down is the way in which depression isolates and stifles creativity. I don't feel like talking or even stepping out of the door, so mostly I don't. Every piece of writing or phone call is such an effort that they dwindle to a trickle. If God is in his heaven and all is right with the world the words flow easily. When God seems deaf and blind I envy Job and the Psalmists their eloquence in suffering. Most of my unease though, when I'm in this frame of mind is not aimed at God but directed inwards. I find it almost impossible to believe that I can be the same buoyant, confident, fluent person of a month ago. It's like cohabiting with a particularly vile and intemperate squatter - namely myself.

I don't know how this squares with the supposed association between melancholy and artistic achievement. The two do seem connected but so much pseudo-scientific waffle comes from people who don't know the internal world of depression. My experience is that when I'm depressed I achieve very little. Depression is a cheat, a liar and an imposter which doesn't deserve respect as the companion of 'troubled poets'.

Is the Crisis 'Economic'?

Today I heard more than one journalist say that G20 leaders had 'risen to the crisis'. A pity it's the wrong one!

What is church?

It was Tertullian in his Apologetics that coined a phrase widely cited by Pro-Life campaigners: "He is a man, who is to be a man; the fruit is always present in the seed." Perhaps the same reasoning can be applied to the currently controversial question of what constitutes 'church'. 'Church to be is church', perhaps? Church planter, Stuart Murray Williams summarises the options in 'Planting Churches', p.128. There are different moments at which a church may be said to begin, depending on our theological convictions - perhaps when the church has been commissioned, when it begins to meet in a public place or when the core elements of mission, worship and community are present? In animals conception may be understood as a sperm fusing with an ovum in the uterus, to form an embryo. By analogy church is fully 'church' from the moment it is implanted in situ. This is not to say - again by analogy - that the new church doesn't have a great deal of maturing to do.

Of course an argument from analogy should be treated with some caution. If Matt 5:27,28 asserts a kind of equivalance between committing adultery and thinking about it does it then follow (by analogy) that merely planning a new church is in itself 'church' - a kind of 'church of the mind'? In my view such a disembodied notion of 'church' is a step too far, although similar issues are raised by the existence of internet 'churches'. Arguments from analogy are hardly likely to take the heat out of the 'what is church' debate. When a person becomes a person is more fiercely controversial, even than the question of what constitutes a Christian church. I would tentatively suggest however, that worries about the need for 'proper' ministry and sacraments in newly planted congregations may be more to do with the insecurities of established churches than whether two or three gathered in the name of Christ are an infant church or something else.

Mennonites in Liverpool?

As far as I know there are only two Mennonite Churches in Britain: at Wood Green in London and a Portugese speaking congregation in Eastbourne. However, for years now I've been hearing tales of an African Mennonite fellowship in Liverpool. Is this one of those myths like the Yeti or the Loch Ness Monster or is there some truth to the rumour? If there are Mennonites in Liverpool it would be appropriate. The last time Menno's folk passed through the port in any numbers was on their way to North America from Russia more than a hundred years ago. If you've heard anything about the Liverpool connection I would love to hear from you.

Anger with the church

Over the years I've been to a lot of conferences. One of the best was an event in Leeds led by the Iona Community. I remember a session entitled 'Anger with the Church' - easily the best attended workshop of the day. Yesterday I had lunch with a friend which brought that workshop to mind. Normally phlegmatic and affable, he was struggling to keep his anger under control. The management of the organization he works for has changed direction, calling into question his leadership and bringing his employment to an end. I don't know enough of the detail to say more but I felt for my friend and his family. The organization could have done better, especially one supposedly committed to peace and a transforming conflict. To be honest, my lunchtime meeting also brought up bitter personal experiences.

I enjoy reading Thomas Merton but wonder whether it's revealing that arguably the most famous Christian monk of the 20th Century ended up in a hermitage. I believe in Christian Community but recognize why so many believers end up refugees from corporate Christian commitment. Christian organizations - sometimes rather dismissively called para-church organizations - generate similar outcomes. There are many reasons for this but here's a few that occur to me:

1) Dressing up power as something else. All organizations involve the exercise of power but it's sometimes seen as too 'unspiritual' a word for Christians to acknowledge. Sometimes too, there's a reluctance to admit to hidden agendas and vested interests. This isn't honest and it gets in the way of transparency and accountability in decision-making.
2) Failures in communication. It sounds basic but a good deal of pain could be avoided by ensuring that we actually talk to one another. This is about listening to other points of view but it's also about ensuring that processes (for example disciplinary processes) don't lock people out of the conversation. Excessive secrecy is the kiss of death for good corporate process.
3) Recognizing the impact of decline. Decline obviously has an impact on numbers but it's also deeply discouraging. That discouragement can lead to fatalism and deepen exhaustion amongst deeply committed staff and volunteers. It's all too easy for churches and Christian organizations to cast around for scapegoats - especially leaders - who are probably already overworked.

I would be glad of a conversation about this. Why was that 'anger with the church' workshop so well attended?